Splitsville, USA

Guess who's getting a divorce?
I'll give you time to think
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Figure it out?
Would you believe me if I said Mom and Dad?
.....I'll wait and let you pick your jaws up off of the floor.....
No, you don't believe me? Well I didn't think you would.
But apparently that's the rumor going around my hometown. What a rumor, huh? I'm not sure who all reads this blog, but I have reason to believe the retards that started this rumor check in on occasion. And let me just say if you're going to start a rumor, why not go with something more reasonable like the sky is falling or the world is coming to an end. Or even that the recession is ending tomorrow. Because saying "Rick and Melinda are divorcing" is so idiotic that it'd take a real dimwit to believe it.
Just like it took a real dimwit to come up with such a lie.
So if you're around town and you hear "Rick and Melinda are going through the Big D" you can respond by "Well actually they're staying together for the girls. At 32 and 29 years old, Amber and Riane are too old to be the products of a broken home."

Isn't it obvious there is no love here?